January 21, 2011

Versatile AND Stylish….. Me?!

Posted in Uncategorized at 11:18 pm by A Witty Fool

So, I was recently awarded the “Versatile and STylish” award by both LucidLilith AND Mamuje. Considering that these are two very prolific and interesting blogggers, I have to say, I am quite flattered. So, in accepting this award, I have to say Seven things about myself and nominate Fifteen people for the V.and.S award.

So for my Seven things:

1. I read alot. … and I mean ALOT! I currently own eXactly 427 books, but that is only because I gave 223 to libraries and charities around my home when I was moving out of the country for a few years some time ago.  it HURT!

2. Like LucidLilith, I HATE crying. When I do it or feel like doing it, I always think it is a waste of a real and strong emotion that I could be using to motivate myself. When others do it, all I see is not so subtle manipulation. (dat probably doesn’t say much about my perception os others.)

3. I am sensitive. Now, that does not mean I will cry if you call me fat and ugly. (I would Kick your freaking ass, but… I digress!) No, I mean that I am super sensitive to emotions and auras. I can almost see them in colour. You know how people say “I saw Red” when they get angry? I can actually see the red around an angry person, the sky blue around a cool person, the deep purple around a person with intergrity. … yeah, I know. I sound crazy.

4.  I am quiet. Very quiet. I rarely speak. Like the crying thing, I’d rather save my energy, especially if I dont have something constructive or positive to say.

5.  I love being in love.  The rush of excitment, happiness, etc. I fall in very quickly, sadly, I have pretty HIGH expectations from people, so I tend to fall out just as fast. ( Reason Numero Uno, why I am currently single.)

6.  I didn’t realize that this would actually be hard to do. I can NOT think of seven things to say about myself. Sad AND scary!

7. I am a Gemini. I always say I don’t believe in that Zodiac signs and I don’t. the Predictions usually are utter rubbish, but the character descriptions of the Gemini female, especially the bit about being two distint people in one head (twins, get it?) seem to fit me to a T.  

Thank y’all for dropping by and thanX LL and M’je for the award. and since I do NOT KNow fifteen people, let’s see what I can rangle up:

My nominees for Versatile and stylish are:

Lucidlilith: because I love your blog and because your blog about Lilith which was the first one I ever read really made an impression.

GoodNiajaGirl: because I really do think she is awesome and Fun and alot like me. (not sure why)

Mamuje: because she is nuts! (mostly) but also pretty versatile

Kay.9: for being friendly and Funny

Faith B:  because she is pretty cool, for a person who lives in my computer, but also because anyone who loves Supernatural is a true love of mine and obviously has great taste as well.

J.A.M: even though she NEVER reads my blog or leaves me comments.

Doll: because she alwasy reads my blog and leaves me comments.

and …. em….. ok. thats it. like I said I dont really know 15 people / blogs. I really need to come online more often.

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January 14, 2011

Getting to “YES”

Posted in Uncategorized at 7:39 pm by A Witty Fool

NO, this is NOT a blog on how to get your girl / man to say “Yes” to your proposal.

So, I was on my way to check out this new supposedly hip new Jazz bar that my sister had told me about. She had heard about it from a friend of hers and we had all been hyped up all week looking forward to some good food, great music and of course, the alcohol, when about half way there, we had to turn back around and head not to another bar/club/party …. even heading back home would have been pretty great too. No, we had to run around and head off to the hospital. The friend, M, who had told my sister about the Jazz bar, had just been run over by a truck.

She had passed on the night out, choosing to go grocery shopping and then home for a night of quiet alone time, when some bastard (Yes, dats what I called him… and I AM being polite!) who was texting, while driving. (SERIOUSLY! a grown ASS man! texting! … while driving! as they say in Nigeria .. Agbaya!) ran her down. Luckily, she was not killed. Unluckily,….. she got run over by a freaking truck! She is in the hospital and faces months and maybe even years of physical theraphy before she can regain full .. everything.

and ‘Yes’, I am just selfish enough to make this about me. I am not the most adventurous of people. Yeah, I like to travel and see new places, but that is the extent of my sense of adventure. When I am at home, I am a homebody, going no where, doing nothing. I like the peace and quiet, yes, but of course, I know that there is so much more to life than what is in my head or in my books.

Atropos the Fate was kind to let M. off when only almost all her bones broken, but she (Atropos) is not always so kind. For seeming so permanent and so strong, life is about as fragile as anything can get and Atropos can bring it to a short, swift end at any given time.

This is why, as the new year begins and everyone buckles down to make their resolutions for the year, I have decided to forgo all of the usual suspects in Resolution making.

Do I want to lose weight? Sure, but I will not resolve to. it hasn’t worked for the past ten years, so why bother, anymore?!

Do I want to become a better person? Not really. Truth is, the whole ‘nasty Bitch’ thing has always worked for me. (LOL. I kid of course. I am a saint!)

So, what am I going to do this year? … Here it is… I am going to say “YES!”

“YES” to anything everything!

Every invite: to a party, drinks, dinner, movies, sledding, business plan/ investment, and even (… hold your breathe) … Bunge jumping!

Yes, I know that I am still black and black folks don’t bunge jump (LOL), but you know something, it is time to shake things up! Loosen up! do something stupid!

and when I say stupid, I mean like… real… STOOPID!

Why? because life is so short

and because one day you can and the next you can’t! M. loved to live it up. Travel, have fun, adventures, life: SHe lived it as best she could and now, because of some grown ass-texting while driving-bastard of a man, she can’t do any of it any more. At least not for a while.

So, you have to ask yourself, what is it, that I can do now, that I am putting off? and what if when the time comes I am not able to do it, even if it is due to something as ordinary as old age?  I don’t know what that answer is for you. Shoot, I dont know what that answer is for me, so I am going to be looking to find it… EVERYWHERE. So, I will be agreeing to go, do, see, and say YES to anything!

and to prove that I am seriously going to at least try, I have just said my first “Yes”. Sadly, it is not to a proposal from Jensen Ackles (SERIOUSLY, you NEED to watch SUPERNATURAL if you are not!). No, I have said “Yes” to an invitation to go “Snow Tubing.” What Xactly is SNow tubing, you ask? I don’t know for sure, I hear it involves sitting inside a plastic tube ad being shoved off a snow capped mountain. … …  …  …

I hear Screams in my future!

January 2, 2011

A look forward, a glance back.

Posted in Life as I live it at 7:37 pm by A Witty Fool

2010. That Bitch of a year if FINALLY over! Bless you Lord! Although for a year that started with the Big Bang that was the Earth Quake in Haiti, it kinda went out on a fizzle. Now do I sound bitter? like I am holding a grudge against this past year of our Lord? Well, lets review, shall we?

The quake in Haiti… okay, so it did not affect me personally, but seriously, considering that they are still recoveing bodies and people are still dying from diseases that resulted from the quake … well, all of humanity, I think can count that one as a strike against them.

Then of course there was this whole incident of some crazy white bitch (yeah, dats what I said!) who accused my brother if raping her, simply because he dumped her scheming ass. SHE cheated on him, got pregnant by the other man and then when he dumped her and their child, my bro was kind enough to help her out financially. She apparently took that to mean that they might be reuniting (and it felt so gooood) He on the other, (thank God!) has a brain in his head and told her: NOT gonna happen! She tried to force his hand by treatening to cry rape. He didn’t bulge. SHe cried Rape and then could not back down, after the police had gotten involved and tried to arrest my bro. Case went to court and everything. Turns out she could not convince even her own parents that my bro, who had been nothing but nice to her and her family EVER of her story and case got thrown out. Now, if you are black and live in America, you KNOW that when a black man is accused of Raping a white girl, then asthey say in Warri : “yawa don gas!” because his ass is going down… well Xcept in the OJ Simpson case, but he was rich and famous. My bro was neither and he still managed to escape her clutches unscathed. … and unlike OJ, his Innocence was NEVER in doubt, not even by her lawyers and parents. just to throw this out there… God IS Good! dont ever let anyone tell you different!

There is also the fact that I was unemployed and broke for what seemed like more than half the year. Believe me, a state of perpetual brokeness is not an ideal place to find oneself. However, again, by the time the ran out its course, I was employed. still broke perharps, but working on it!

Also, my family got a lil’ bit bigger. that’s right, one healthy baby boy bigger …. no, I did NOT have a baby. My sister did. A boy who by all accounts got his fabulous good looks from yours truly…. that’ll be Moi!

hmmm…. now that I look back, 2010 may not have been so bad. I did after all get to meet Jose … and just in time for my birthday too.

I fell in love.  With a tall, handsome, green eyed monster. Monster because he was in love with someone else. Well, actually, I fell in love like five different times, but if you know me, then you know that thats just routine. Still, the heart breaks every time. I think my heart may be in too many pieces to ever fully repare, or maybe it is true what they say, that every time your heart breaks, in its healing, it expands to love even deeper. In that case, I am the most capable Lover ever! … take that anyway you want. 🙂

Goodbye 2010. I gotta say, I did not realize then, just how good you were to me.

So, looking into 2011, what do I see? For one, I have put my brother’s hand on a bible and made him swear off white girls. Now, that is not to say I am being racist. I have no objection whatsoever to fabulously goodlooking white guys. In short, I tend to love them just as much as I do fabulously goodlooking men of any pigmentation…. so if you know any, we should talk. :p

I am also working on the whole weight loss thing. For those of you that do not know, I am super hot. Hotter than Halle Bery in a topless bikini, on a summers day in Jamaica. However, I do have a bit of a weight problem that I have been working on since …… well, since before Halle Beryy was hot. This year, I intend to make great strides in achieveing some sort of goal. This is the only loss I intend to take lying down in 2011. I have joined a gym… yes, but will I actaully go, you ask? I hope so, it cost like 150 a month (and No, I dont mean Rupees)

Sadly, the year has not been off to a good start for me. I got dumped! on New Years day (Jan 1st)! Ain’t that about a low down dirty shame! I know! I am in shock and totally devastated. and this shocking and cruel act was perptrated on me, by none other, but my father. My very own parent! I am appalled! See, he had two ticked to see the Broadway show FELA! A musical about the the life of Nigerian Afrobeat artist Fela Kuti. A show being sponsored by Will and Jada Smith, as well as Jay-Z and his wife. And as this this the last showing on broadway, I had it on good authority that they would all be ther for the closing. I was pumped! had my camera readied and my outfit picked out (I did not intend to be out done by Beyonce!) and what happened? on the night before the Jan 2nd (last) showing, my dad ruthlessly and unceremoniously dumped my black ass in favour of his wife. Like seriously! So, now I am bitter and nursing a grudge. NOTHING (well, eXcept maybe CASH!) will ever heal this wound! I mean, what a way to start off the new year!

as they say in Nigeria, “Kai!”

oh well. Welcome all to the Year of our Lord: Two Thousand and eleven. Now matter what kind of two thousand and ten you had, here’s hoping, eleven is a vast inprovement!