April 25, 2010

What a gip!

Posted in Life as I live it, Uncategorized at 4:20 pm by A Witty Fool

           Okay, so I am stumbling along with my day just the other day, when I stumbled onto a guy, a tall, good-looking, brown-eyed guy, with dimples and a smile that could melt honey (if ever honey needed melting). Implications of burning heat: INTENDED.

            We got to talking and turns out we had a few things in common…. em, okay… One thing, but still, it was a pretty important thing (He likes books too). In addition to being handsome and liking books, he also seemed to be loaded, or at least, pretty comfortable. He had a great job (steady employment is always a plus) and was looking forward to spending his summer weekends at the family home on the Cape. If you live anywhere near here, then you know that “the Cape” means Cape Cod or maybe even Martha’s Vineyard and a summer home on the cape, means that you are at the very least ‘comfortable’…..but I digress.

He smiled, I smiled.

He flirted, I flirted

He said, I … suspected,

… turns out he was married, married young according to him, procreated and remains married due to familial obligations.

He Xplained, I passed.

Later, (not much later honestly, I am not known for my self discipline) I almost, kinda, soughta, a little, regretted passing (seriously, he was FOINE!), but my morals, principles or what ever the bloody hell you wanna call them would not allow me to knowingly begin or even to contemplate starting something with a married man, no matter the condition of the wedded (blissful or not) union. ……

            ….. and to be quite frank, it pissed me the bloody hell OFF! Pissed me off a whole lot! It sucks having morals, good manners and all of that other crap. It makes you walk away from some luscious deal, like enjoying a beautiful summer spending some guy’s money and a possible cape cod beach side vacation, for some stupid reason like.. the ‘sponsor’ is married.

            Yeah, I know that we would have broken up eventually. I mean the guy is married and chances are he was fibbing (ok, so out right lying.. but I am trying to rationalize here) about the state of his union and trying to pull a ‘Tiger’ (Woods, that is), but Tiger’s mistress (that’s old English for: “#1 whore) just got paid $10 million (count with me people….. 1 million, 2 million, 3 million,  FOUR !!! and keep going) to go away. So essentially, home girl just made 10 million American dollars for sleeping around with a guy who she already KNEW to be married!  Jesse James’s Hitler loving chick is apparently now shopping around for her own reality show and asking for millions, while John Edwards baby mama is now getting paid by magazines and TV stations to pose naked, grant interviews and tell the world about how much of a bitch his wife really was and why he HAD to cheat on her.

            My point? if any of these women had any kind of morals or principles of anything, they would NOT now be millions of dollars richer and world famous and ME? I can’t even creep around for a free summer vacation! Talk about getting gipped!

            I have said it before and I’ll say it again, I blame my father! Teaching me to be considerate of others, drilling good manners and honestly into my head, raising me to be a good person…. Talk about some bullshit! I could so totally having be lounging on the Cape this summer!

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April 14, 2010

My Family, in conversation.

Posted in Life as I live it at 10:52 pm by A Witty Fool

So, I am filling in my insurance beneficiary form when out of some morbid curiosity, I turned to my sister and asked:  “would you kill me for a half a million dollars?” her reply? “Dude, I would kill you for a Klondike bar!”. That is my immediate younger sister -T. She likes to say she is 22 yrs old. I agree, mostly out of a deep seated fear for my life….. the girl is.. “questionable

My other younger sister -the family baby- is 12 years old and JADED! Completely cynical about the world and the people in it. She is pretty, beautiful really (dats a family trait! truely!) but she is so jaded thay when she is complimented on her beauty, like say: “Abs, honey, you look really good.” her standard reply is: “yeah I know.” Try and correct her, like: “Honey, you are supposed to say Thank you, even if you already know that you are pretty.” I tried that once and she replied.: “I am not pretty, I am beautiful. I just dont know why anybody else cares!”

My immediate younger brother is a sort Doctor type person. I dont know what he does, but he works in a hospital and apparently he is quite a catch, ‘cuz some chicks (and when I say some chicks, I mean about 6 of them) at my church have resorted to some real low down dirty shame kinda methods to try and snag him. Personally, I dont see it, unfortunately, his ego does.

me:Your head don dey swell well well oh (Your head is getting really big)”

him: “that just a side effect of my disorder.. .. I suffer from a chronic lack-of-a-flaw-itis.”

My second brother suffers from the exact same disorder (THAT is not a family trait. I am humble despite MY fabulous great looks!) According to him, he tries to be humble, but his immense handsomeness make it damn near impoosible. This bro is 15 going on 38 and Intelligent! He actually got a 104% on his Math for this past semester and he does extra credit homework…… for fun! what can I say… he is a dork, with a capital D! He is also a smart mouth, smart ass! I happened to mention that I was broke, his response?: “you are always broke”

me: “hey, half the world is broke right now. It George Bush’s fault”

him: okay, but YOU have been broke since Clinton was President!”

I have one other sister, she is a year or so older than I am she is turning 22 Today. Happy Birthday!

So, there. My family in conversation. THIS is why I am so weird!

April 1, 2010

WANDER Lust!

Posted in Life as I live it at 3:23 pm by A Witty Fool

It is a certifiable disease or at least it should be. Wanderlust: that insatiable need to be anywhere but here. “Here” of course, being anywhere, where I am at the moment and have been for too long. “Too long” being relative can fluctuate from one day, to one week, to a month, a year or any length of time before I start to feel the need to be some place else. It is a vicious cycle, a cruel and demanding mistress, a mental disorder, one that sadly, I seem to suffer from.

Wander lust rears its head at the oddest and most inconvenient of times too. I have actually had to quit two jobs because my bosses would NOT let me take some time off of work to travel… simply because I had only been at both jobs for a short period of time. I get asked a lot if it was a lot of fun working at the Airport. It wasn’t exactly barrel loads of fun, but I got barrel loads of free and/or cheap plane tickets to anywhere in the world. It was a sacrifice I was willing to make.

I always say that I travel for the excitement, the thrill of getting off the plane in a strange place, surrounded by different people, who speak a foreign language. Everything if fresh and new and all ties to the old and overly familiar reality, for the time being are loosened. I get to see foreign and exotic places, meet new people and maybe even be a different person. Life is suspended and perspective is redefined.

I used to blame, my restless legs and roving mind on youth. I wanted to travel and see the world before I had to settle down and calmly accept responsibility and all that come with it. Now, however, I have to admit that I am NOT irresponsible, not at all, I just suffer from a severe case of Wander Lust.

This sounds like an eXciting mental defect, you know as opposed to the regular painful and disturbing ones like, you know,  plain ole’ crazy, but it can have some very painful side-effects, like calling your boss from the airport to let ‘em know that you are leaving on a jet plane and don’t know when you’ll be back again, and calmly saying “okay”, when they threaten to fire you if you don’t show up for work that day. All this knowing that you have bills to pay and a life to live.

Relationships have also been sacrificed to this disease. I had to break off at least one semi-serious relationship, because it became clear that ‘he’ was never going to grasp the fact that I am NOT the girl who will be satisfied to sit at home, quietly waiting to build and care for a family. Sadly, I have come to realize that I may be the chick that drives the kids over to their father’s work place in the middle of the afternoon and leave them there because of a sudden need I got to be in Yugoslavia!

Maybe I am running from something –like reality, responsibility, or something else/deeper – Freud will need to work real hard and over time to sort that one out. Right now, after two years of gallivanting from the USA to the UK, Europe and Africa, I am back home and have been settled in for the past seven months. SEVEN months! I am beginning to feel the strangle hold across my chest again, the need to escape into a foreign based reality.

I am starting a new job, looking into getting my own apartment and trying to settle into some sort of stability and routine in my life and NOW, Wander Lust rears its ugly head. I suddenly NEED to be in Jerusalem, Delhi, Rio, anywhere but here….  gives strength to the whole.. ‘I am running away’ argument, hun? Sadly, (but maybe NOT so sadly) I am too broke and my new job is fabulous (and I WILL NOT quit!) sucks for me though. I hear Peru is great this time of year… Costa Rica too.